I Was Made For Loving You

A couple of months ago I wrote a short post about love. I asked the void, "What is love?" and felt sad and hopeless about the prospect of real love in my life. Since then, I think I've found this magical "true love" thing that everyone is always talking about and thusly have been able to form a sort of malleable, flexible definition for it.

Here's what I think about true love as of August 20th 2015:

True love is unconditional and patient. When you love someone, you love them in spite of their flaws and imperfections. Love is waking up and thanking God that you have that special person in your life. Love is being willing to communicate and compromise. Love is having respect for one another's boundaries, thoughts, feelings, and decisions. Love is being able to laugh together even if sometimes you feel sad or angry. Love is that overwhelming feeling of pride and joy when you think of them late at night or see them smile or watch them kick ass at something they work hard to do. Love is being able to trust each other wholeheartedly, leaving no room for ultra-jealous thoughts or behaviors. Love is having a best friend, a confidant, a person to rely on. Love is being willing to commit, invest, and wait if need be.

I do not believe that love is always easy. I think perfect relationships where two people agree on everything and never argue or bicker or fight don't exist. I think sometimes being fully in love with someone is one of the hardest things in the world. Life is rough and the individual experiences we all go through are hard enough on our own; sometimes getting another person on the same page, to understand, is difficult. Sometimes you fight over big things; sometimes you fight over little things. Sometimes love is inconvenient, jumping out at you when circumstances aren't aligned. Sometimes you have to wait.

And sometimes the person you're in love with, truly in love with, doesn't feel the same way.

I don't think that makes the love you feel any less true.

Below is something Ted Mosby of How I Met Your Mother said about love:

One of the greatest television speeches about love that has ever existed.

Like I said, these are just my thoughts on the subject as of today. As you probably know, people grow and evolve and change over time so maybe my definition of love will change one day. But as for right now, I think it's a pretty solid definition of love in my life.

xx Anna

H&M Fall Fashion Wishlist

Ahhhh yesssss. It's mid-August and already I can sense the impending autumn season taking it's sweet time to arrive in lower Alabama. That doesn't mean I can't dream about all the things I want to wear when the weather finally turns cool and the leaves start to fall.

Fall fashion to me is deep tonal patterns, muted color, and an abundance of accessories. Below you'll find a small sampling of some items on my wish list for Fall 2015, courtesy of H&M.

xx Anna

Actions Speak Louder Than Haircuts

A couple of years ago a male homosexual friend of a friend of mine said to me, blatantly ignorant of any idea who I actually was or of my sexual preference, "You would make a great lesbian". I was surprised by the statement, not only because of it's boldness (we'd only just met and I didn't even know his name yet) but because of it's content. I would... "make a great lesbian"? What exactly makes a great lesbian?

He went on flippantly stating that he while he was "absolutely gay" he was also attracted to me, which is why he thought I would be more than a perfect fit for the lesbian community. "You have a man's haircut and you're dressed sort of masculine so I just sort of figured..." he trailed off before showing us his driver's license featuring a much heavier version of himself, instantly changing the subject to how he had lost 100 pounds by eating a bowl of Special K a day.

While they spoke, I started to evaluate my appearance. I was wearing a pair of skinny jeans, some chucks, a graphic t-shirt and an old, khaki green hooded sweatshirt my ex-boyfriend had gifted me. I had recently asked for a pixie cut à la Anne Hathaway at the salon, so yes, my hair was non-typically short for a nineteen year old female college freshman living in South Alabama and sure, I wasn't dressed particularly feminine... but I was still unsure how my appearance would have anything to do with what gender I was or was not attracted to.

A couple of days later I debuted my new haircut to a bible study group I had been attending. I was approached in the kitchen by a smaller group of "friends" while I was chatting about my week with one of the adults in charge.

"Why would you cut your hair?" one of them said.
"Yeah, I'm not very happy about it." a boy who I had a (now regrettable) crush on said.
"I thought you were a boy when you got out of your car." another snickered.
The adult stayed surprisingly quiet, which I interpreted as her agreement with my peers, while I tripped over words and eventually squeaked out a super solid, "I don't know."

And so I grew my hair out.

It's something I sort of regret doing now that I realize why I did it. I loved my short hair. It made me feel spunky and sort of like (a much more lethargic) Selina Kyle. I liked styling it in a floppy quiff because I thought it looked edgy and also kind of like a 2013-era Louis Tomlinson. I really liked the way I looked... until I didn't anymore. The weird (and sometimes straight up rude) comments that peers and strangers thrust upon me made me hate my hair and feel more than a little uncomfortable in my skin. I became perpetually self-conscious about how I looked, always wary of how I dressed or did my makeup or the posture I had when I sat down. It was rough and I was never happy. I was anxious and angry and sad and I remember crying more than once about my "boyish" haircut as I waited impatiently for it to grow to a socially acceptable, feminine length.

It's been years since then and I can safely assure you that your haircut does not define you much in the same way your weight does not define you. These are outward appearances and shallow representations of who you are as a person. A non-typical haircut does not determine whether you are a homosexual, a heterosexual, a man, a woman, a drug dealer, a mom, etc. It's incredibly narrow minded to think that it does.

It should also be kept in mind that another person's appearance is not really any of your business. Someone's personal style is something that they feel comfortable in and being critical of their favorite shirt or their space buns is not going to make you a better person. You are not the authority on style in other people's lives. Unless they ask for your opinion on their oversized boyfriend jeans or Ugg boots or crop top, it's probably best to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Stereotypes exist for a reason but it's so important that you don't judge a person based on the way that they look. Actions speak far louder than haircuts and it's nice to be nice.

xx Anna

Whatevah you say, Mistah J!

Every now and then I get a little bored and since I've been on a major Harley Quinn kick lately (as made clear by even my last blog post) I figured what better way to cure that boredom then to use whatever makeup I have rolling around my old makeup drawer and make myself look like the newest imagining of Harley Quinn?

I didn't buy any new makeup to create this look so I used a lot of really old, really cheap makeup that I've had for years. I mixed white cream face paint with a drop or two of my regular foundation and applied it as usual. I then used a roller ball blue eyeshadow and red pigment eyeshadow to use on my eyes. I created more definition by using a matte cool brown in the crease and outer corner areas. Then I used a black eyeliner pencil to line my eyes all the way around making sure to be messier than usual. After that you just use your fingers and a brush to smear it down your cheeks. I used NARS Dragon Girl on my lips which is really a little too bright for this Harley Quinn look but since this was just for funsies I let it be.

Harley Quinn is probably my favorite comic book character of all time. I find her creation story fascinating and the current storyline in her stand-alone comic has proven Harley to be quite a fighter despite her silly, sing-song henchwoman origins. Her flaws make her relatable and her ability to make wrong decisions makes her, in my mind, an even stronger female character than the typical do-good heroine.

xx Anna

I am so excited for the new Suicide Squad movie. If you haven't seen the trailer you can check it out below: