Dried Paint

He has sunset eyes and always drives with the windows down.

He doesn’t take no for an answer but he doesn’t ask for much. He flexes his toes when he plays video games, rocks back and forth and tenses every time he strikes. He laughs short; a little bubble of humor, but it is a beautiful sound ringing in my ears long after he’s gone. He is quiet but when he speaks his words are thoughtful, thoughtless, and his bass buzzes in my chest: thump thump thump. He touches the deepest part of my soul, barely reaching, he knows me inside and out and he says that he loves me.

He has sunset eyes and always drives with the windows down.

Merry Christmas, Darling

Hey!

I just wanted to drop by and say that I hope you're having a very merry Christmas wherever you are. I know that this time of year can be stressful with all the different things we have to do and prepare for but I've been feeling overwhelmingly thankful for everything in my life. Like, even though sometimes it sucks and nothing seems to be going right... I have food to eat and clothes to wear and a roof over my head, a warm (or cool when it's 80 degrees outside like it is right now) place to sleep at night. I have people who care about me, even one or two that love me, and two doggies that make me laugh on a daily basis. They're little things that we take for granted.

Remember that you're blessed this Christmas and remind someone you love that you're thinking about them today.

And if you can't be with someone you love, if they're far away or you're out of touch, say a little prayer for them and that should be enough. <3

xx Anna

I Was Made For Loving You

A couple of months ago I wrote a short post about love. I asked the void, "What is love?" and felt sad and hopeless about the prospect of real love in my life. Since then, I think I've found this magical "true love" thing that everyone is always talking about and thusly have been able to form a sort of malleable, flexible definition for it.

Here's what I think about true love as of August 20th 2015:

True love is unconditional and patient. When you love someone, you love them in spite of their flaws and imperfections. Love is waking up and thanking God that you have that special person in your life. Love is being willing to communicate and compromise. Love is having respect for one another's boundaries, thoughts, feelings, and decisions. Love is being able to laugh together even if sometimes you feel sad or angry. Love is that overwhelming feeling of pride and joy when you think of them late at night or see them smile or watch them kick ass at something they work hard to do. Love is being able to trust each other wholeheartedly, leaving no room for ultra-jealous thoughts or behaviors. Love is having a best friend, a confidant, a person to rely on. Love is being willing to commit, invest, and wait if need be.

I do not believe that love is always easy. I think perfect relationships where two people agree on everything and never argue or bicker or fight don't exist. I think sometimes being fully in love with someone is one of the hardest things in the world. Life is rough and the individual experiences we all go through are hard enough on our own; sometimes getting another person on the same page, to understand, is difficult. Sometimes you fight over big things; sometimes you fight over little things. Sometimes love is inconvenient, jumping out at you when circumstances aren't aligned. Sometimes you have to wait.

And sometimes the person you're in love with, truly in love with, doesn't feel the same way.

I don't think that makes the love you feel any less true.

Below is something Ted Mosby of How I Met Your Mother said about love:

One of the greatest television speeches about love that has ever existed.

Like I said, these are just my thoughts on the subject as of today. As you probably know, people grow and evolve and change over time so maybe my definition of love will change one day. But as for right now, I think it's a pretty solid definition of love in my life.

xx Anna

What is love?

Define 'love' for me. Is it someone who brings out the best in you? Always has your back? It's more than attraction; what is it exactly?

— Anna • アンナ (@wtvranna) May 6, 2015

I was thinking about the subject of 'love' today. I want to say that I know what it is because I have experienced it but... I'm not sure if I've ever experienced true love. The kind of love that people sing and write about.

Sure, I've been in love once before but it was a shallow, selfish version of love between two immature people who cared only about themselves. We weren't ready for a real love and that's ok. I don't regret the time I spent with him.

But it does make me wonder what the real thing must be like.

Love is a mystery to me.